Screenplay Idea DOWN THE DRAIN!

My dream of writing a killer screenplay was crushed.

Alexis Bledel stole my life and Post Grad screenwriter Kelly Fremon stole my story.

What, UCLA?

Yeah, that’s right. That’s filmed AT UCLA, right outside Royce Hall, the building which hosted many of my English classes. (Territorial growl) That’s my school, beezy.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit. This is a pretty cliche story idea anyways.

Here’s the IMDB summary:

Ryden Malby graduates from college and is forced to move back into her childhood home with her eccentric family, while she attempts to find a job, the right guy, and just a hint of where her life is headed.

I envisioned my yet-unwritten screenplay (still waiting to get some screenwriting software and my brain back from chemo/summer-rot) as somthing similar, though minus the stupid romantic subplot. I mean I guess that’s part of post-grad life, even for me, but I think reeks too much of corniness.

Sigh. I guess I’ll start working on a TV-spinoff now.

And in the meantime…this gave me a silly cover-letter idea that has the same probability of floating as this film does in the box office this summer. Um, in my opinion, it’s not the best time to make a film about struggling college students at a time when few of us (the target audience) have jobs and money to spend on frivolous trips to the movie theater to watch frustrating movies that remind us about our own dilemmas.

Yo, FILM INDUSTRY! We’d rather spend our money watching films like Harry Potter that reminds us of our earlier adolescence Harry Potter, or inspires us for the future like Star Trek. Or heck, even Transformers 2, so we can go braindead for a solid opiate-like 2.5 hours.

Well, at least that’s what the box office says.

By the way, if you haven’t read Roger Ebert’s Transformers 2 review, please do.

Here’s a taste:

The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed “The Rock” in 1996. Now he has made “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Faust made a better deal.

My inner English major (nerd) is screaming “OHHhhhh BURNED!” right now.

Anyways, cheers.

Dear UCLA,

Dear UCLA,

I feel like once upon a time, you promised me great things. And even without those promises, I’ve loved you dearly, and treasured every second with you.

But I now realize that, very unfortunately, you didn’t tell me how hard it would be in the world out there. The cold, narrow, and unfriendly job market of 2009. The market that tells me that it has no place for me, even with this lovely piece of paper that says that your faculty has conferred upon me a great degree.

UCLA, you should have told it to me straight: that employers don’t care what you majored in, or what grades you got, but they care about the unpaid slave labor internships and job experience in lieu of entry level jobs.

If you told me that, I would have worried less about my Milton midterm, my Shakespeare paper, and that stupid presentation poster on Monterey Bay, and tried to get more soulsucking internships that would be more rewarding in the future. And perhaps I would have considered a more tangibly useful major. Sure, English majors can write, but I have to somehow prove and propose that I can do more than just write about dusty literature.

Also, clearly, working for the Daily Bruin wasn’t enough. UCLA, you weren’t enough.

Not even for a state job.

I guess we say goodbye on that sad and bitter note.

Love,

Jessica

P.S. Congratulations, class of 2009.

Love. It was good knowing you.

Well kids, it’s over.

Kevin Love is leaving for the NBA. Hey, with a viable position in the top 10 draft picks, it’s no big surprise that our big man is heading out to play with the big boys in the big league.
We just hoped and dreamed that maybe, just maybe, Love would linger around at UCLA
for one more year…

We have too many regrets. Far too many. We have so many good players come in and out. This was supposed to be our year, our perfect balanced team, the winning team….and Love gave us the hope and prospect of this…

And now with him leading the pack to the NBA, we’ll find out soon whether Russell Westbrook decides to stay or go today (in a few hours), and Darren Collison in a few days.

If we lose Love, will we lose it all?

“Oh the places you’ll go! Today is your day. You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!” -Dr. Seuss

…and in a spirit of lightheartedness…

We’d better find a good crew of “rebound boys” heh heh